Just for fun, here's a thread to post your jokes. A couple of rules to keep things from getting unruly.
1. One joke per person, per day.
2. Remember that we're of all ages here, so make sure to watch your language.
3. Have fun.
Here's one to get us started.
A woman walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch.
"I couldn't help noticing how happy you look," she said. "What's your secret for a long happy life?"
"I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day," he said. "I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise."
"That's amazing," the woman said. "How old are you?'
"Twenty-six," he said.
1. One joke per person, per day.
2. Remember that we're of all ages here, so make sure to watch your language.
3. Have fun.
Here's one to get us started.
A woman walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch.
"I couldn't help noticing how happy you look," she said. "What's your secret for a long happy life?"
"I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day," he said. "I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise."
"That's amazing," the woman said. "How old are you?'
"Twenty-six," he said.
Edited 2 time(s). Last edited by Irayna @ Sun Oct 9 10:02:24 EDT 2011
A man walks into a bar and said 'ow'.
I left my phone at home this morning, I've just nipped home at lunchtime to pick it up and my wife had sent me a text at 9:38am saying:
"Hi hun, you've left your phone in the kitchen"
What the f*** am I still doing with this woman?
"Hi hun, you've left your phone in the kitchen"
What the f*** am I still doing with this woman?
Edited 1 time(s). Last edited by Dythark @ Mon Oct 10 11:32:25 EDT 2011
A woman found her husband stalking around with a fly swatter.
"What are you doing?" She asked.
"Hunting Flies" He responded.
"Oh. Killing any?" She asked.
"Yep, 3 males, 2 Females," he replied.
Intrigued, she asked. "How can you tell them apart?"
He responded, "3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone."
"What are you doing?" She asked.
"Hunting Flies" He responded.
"Oh. Killing any?" She asked.
"Yep, 3 males, 2 Females," he replied.
Intrigued, she asked. "How can you tell them apart?"
He responded, "3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone."
A patient says:
"Doctor, last night I made a Freudian slip. I was having dinner with my mother-in-law and wanted to say: 'Could you please pa** the butter?' But instead I said: 'You silly cow, you have completely ruined my life."
"Doctor, last night I made a Freudian slip. I was having dinner with my mother-in-law and wanted to say: 'Could you please pa** the butter?' But instead I said: 'You silly cow, you have completely ruined my life."
